What exactly is “enough?” Enough health? Enough wealth? Enough time? Enough happiness?
Dictionary.com defines enough as “adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or to satisfy desire.” So, enough is different for every person and is decided by each individual in relation to their want, need, or desire. In my opinion, this is a very important point because it means that we get to decide for ourselves what enough of anything is. It’s completely subjective.
In the past, I was never enough and never had enough. Because I was lacking in self value and love, my wants, needs, and desires were insatiable and could never be filled. I looked to others to satisfy my need for love, self esteem, and validation. Because I didn’t generate these qualities from within myself, people in my life could never supply enough to meet my needs nor could I ever do enough. I was a bottomless pit. My ex-husband did not love me enough. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t a good enough mother.
Now, I have a very different perspective. While I have much less of many things, materially and otherwise, than I have had in the past – even when more was not enough back then – it’s enough now because enough is in my mind. In many ways, because of my changed way of thinking, I have more now than I’ve ever had. By adjusting my expectations and purposefully looking for abundance instead of focusing on lack, less becomes more. More joy. More peace. More gratitude.
I still struggle with enough these days when it comes to accomplishing as much as I would like to on a daily basis. I never get all that I would like to get done in one day. I have many what I call “must-do’s” every day: meditation, exercise or yoga, caring for my animals, house, and yard, maintaining my website, writing, the list goes on and on … I’m sure you have your own list.
I’m fortunate that I don’t have to report to a formal job at another location everyday. This blog, writing for other websites, writing books, social media marketing, and all my must-do’s are my job. I also do quite a bit of reading to stay in-the-know about the brain, and I put enormous pressure on myself to check a certain amount off of of my list every day and by self imposed deadlines.
While this dogged determination has served me well in many ways in the past and no doubt, played a major part in my recovering fully from a serious brain injury, I’m working on having a more relaxed approach and being gentler with myself. While attempting to maintain focus and productivity without putting all of the pressure and anxiety on myself, I’m trying to let events unfold naturally every day, accepting whatever happened that day as what was supposed to happen that day.
It’s OK if everything I wanted to do didn’t get done. It always works out every time in the end.
Every day, I do and am enough.
image source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/seyyed_mostafa_zamani/