How to Find Hope When Everything Feels Hopeless

With climate change making the world feel like an oven one day and a freezer the next…

With wildfires leveling entire cities and devastating storms becoming the norm…

With wars being fought over land and ideology, leaving innocent people dead and suffering…

With governments stripping away hard-won human rights…

With people losing their jobs so billionaires can play politics…

With families being ripped apart by “us vs. them” instead of embracing “we” …

With a simple run to the grocery store for a few things now costing at least $100…

I don’t know about you, but all of this has me fearful about what lies ahead for the US and the world. I often find myself overwhelmed, anxious, and on the edge of despair. My oldest son is moving out of the United States because of the currrent condition of the country. I hate to see him go, but I totally understand and support him.

I often want to beg him, “Take me with you, puhleeez!”

But I also know that giving in to the hopeless panicky feelings isn’t going to help me and isn’t the answer. Instead, after a minute or two of freaking out (OK. Sometimes a day or two.) I remember to reach into my mental health toolbox—and use the tools that I have come to rely on to keep myself calm and grounded. These tools have helped me put one foot in front of the other and move forward in difficult times in the past, and they help now.

If you’re struggling, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

I also want you to know that hope is something you can cultivate—even when everything feels hopeless.

Here’s how I do it.  You can too!

1. Look for the Good, and You’ll Find It

When life feels overwhelming, our brains tend to fixate on the negative—a built-in survival mechanism called the negativity bias. However, as I discuss in Look for the Good and You’ll Find It, this doesn’t have to become your brain’s default state. When you find yourself in a negative thought loop, what you do next can either encourage or interrupt it.

Where you place your attention determines what you experience. If you constantly look for the bad, you’ll find it. But if you train yourself to focus on the good, it becomes easier to see.”

Some Ways to Rewire Your Brain for Positivity:

Keep a “Good Things” journal— write down three things that made you smile today.
Actively seek out positive stories—in the news, in nature, on social media, or in your community.
The world is both: Hope isn’t about ignoring the bad. It’s about remembering the good still exists too.

2. Use Your Breath to Find Calm and Control

When hopelessness takes over, it triggers your brain and body’s stress response—leaving you with a flood of stress  neurochemicals, anxiety, racing thoughts, and a sense of powerlessness. Your breath is one of the fastest ways to calm and reset your nervous system instantly. Slow breathing is my go-to to calm myself. I probably use it about every day, and it works every time!

In Slow Breathing Is the Fastest Way To Calm Your Brain and Body, I explain how controlled breathing can physically shift your brain and nervous system from panic to peace.

Some Breathing Practices to Try:

4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Repeat 4 times.
Box Breathing: Inhale, hold, exhale, hold—each for 4 seconds.
Diaphragmatic Breathing: Breathe deeply into your belly instead of shallow chest breaths.

These practices tell your brain on-the-spot that you are safe and it’s OK to relax, allowing a little bit of hope to return. (See 6 Breathing Techniques That Calm Your Brain and Body Instantly for a detailed explanation of these and others)

3. Nudge Your Brain with Positive Memories

When you’re stuck in hopelessness, it can be hard to remember what hope and happiness even feel like. That’s when you need to remember that your brain holds a library of past joys that you can tap into at any time to boost your mood.

In How to Use the Good Already in Your Life to Give Your Brain a More Positive Outlook, I explain how recalling happy memories can activate the same neural pathways in your brain as experiencing them in real time. Hence, you not only get the benefit of remembering some good moments in your life, but your body and brain actually get to feel them again too.

Some Ways to Do This:

Close your eyes and relive a joyful memory—engage all your senses so you can really feel it.
Create a “Hope Playlist” with songs that get your foot tapping and your happy going.
Surround yourself with photos or things that trigger warm, positive memories and emotions.

Even when everything feels dark and hopeless, I want you to remember that you have experienced happiness before—and you will again. This is for now—not forever. I often tell myself those affirmations.

4. Practice Gratitude to Give Your Brain a Happier Slant

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools you have available to you to shift your brain out of hopelessness. Even if you don’t feel grateful and have to force it, it still works. Research shows that practicing gratitude increases serotonin and dopamine, helping you naturally feel more positive and hopeful.

In How Gratitude Helps Your Brain and Mental Health, I explain how practicing gratitude, over time and with repitition, can actually rewire your brain so that optimistic becomes the default mode for you.

Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good practice; it’s a proven way to retrain your brain toward positivity and hope.”

Gratitude Practices That Work:

Keep a Gratitude Journal—write down three things you are thankful for daily.
Tell someone why you appreciate them—this boosts both of your moods. It’s a win/win!
Take a Gratitude Walk, mentally listing things you see that you’re thankful for or that inspire awe.

Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s causing you anxiety or missing in your life to what is still good—and that is where hope lives.

5. Anchor Yourself in the Present Moment

When you feel hopeless, your mind often catastrophizes the future, imagining worst-case scenarios and doubting your abilities. However, most of our suffering comes from thoughts about what could happen—however improbable—not what is actually happening right now in reality.

In Everything Is All Right, Right Now, I discuss how guiding your mind back into the present moment can instantly relieve anxiety. It actually switches the part of your brain that is in control. One of my favorite ways to do this is a mindfulness practice called grounding. Being present helps you realize that hope exists in the now, not in an imagined future.

Ground Yourself with the 5-4-3-2-1 Method:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can touch
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

Pause, Breathe, and Give Yourself a “Butterfly Hug”

The butterfly hug is a scientifically-supported form of bilateral stimulation, particularly used in EMDR therapy. While it may not be a standalone “cure,” it is a valuable evidence-based, on-the-spot coping tool for reducing emotional distress and supporting yourself when you feel anxious. Here’s a video on X by Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) showing how to do it:

Bookmark and practice this to regulate your nervous system anywhere. pic.twitter.com/wRwmlYlJxn

— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) February 11, 2025

6. Remember: Feelings Are Temporary

One of the biggest lies depression and hopelessness tell you is that “it will always be this way.” But nothing in life is permanent—not your happiest times or your darkest emotions. Life is full of ups and downs, swerves and curves and everything in between. Think about past hardships you’ve faced and survived and all of the things that you were afraid would go wrong, but didn’t. Even when you thought you couldn’t make it, you did.

Remember what Christopher Robin said to Winnie the Pooh in The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne:

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Final Thoughts: Hope is Something You Can Build

Finding hope when everything feels hopeless isn’t about waiting for things to get better—it’s about actively choosing to cultivate a mindset of resilience. By training your brain to notice the good, practicing gratitude, using breathwork, tapping into positive memories, and grounding yourself in the present, you can shift from a place of despair to a place of hope—even it’s just a glimmer.